Photo by Bianca Ackermann on Unsplash

As we have been doing for the past 7 years now, the five musketeers gathered at Melissa’s cottage last weekend. In fact, we are five friends from CEGEP who have kept in touch. Each year we spend a day together.

Although we each have a very different personal life, our professional lives have one thing in common: we are all managers!

For the first time, the professional aspect was the focus of our discussions. The main issue we spent the most time on was:

"What would I have liked to know BEFORE becoming a manager?"

Nicholas was the first to speak:

- I'm a manager by default. It was an accident. There was no one else.

Everyone started laughing. We all knew Nicholas' spontaneous nature and outspokenness.

- The company I work for has grown so quickly that we had to hire new work teams and … well … I was appointed manager!

So, I was thrown into this position, without any preparation and without knowing how challenging it could be. My brain worked so hard that I think that's when I started losing my hair!!

What would I have liked to know before being appointed to this position? I should have been told that I was in charge of a daycare! It's unbelievable how sometimes employees act like babies! They always have issues, are never satisfied, and complain about everything!!

There were several complicit looks in the group. Of course, there was no question of putting all employees in the same basket, but each of us recognized managing difficult people is part of the challenges of being a manager.

Then it was Chloe's turn to give her opinion. Mother of three, she had returned to CEGEP after five years in the workforce. She was, therefore, the oldest of the musketeers, and was considered the mother of the group.

- Nicholas talks about daycare. I would say that being a manager is comparable to the role of a parent.

Just as there are no courses to learn how to become a father or a mother, I think that training to become a manager does not reflect the reality of what we experience on a daily basis. There is a terrible "clash" between theory and practice.

Yes, we come out of school with solid academic knowledge. However, to apply all these principles, we mostly need interpersonal skills and personal qualities.

I mention interpersonal skills because we must interact with other human beings who are sometimes quite different from us. It is not always easy to make everyone walk in the same direction.

The same concept applies to parenting. Children are all different. And yet, the family must evolve together.

Parents have the responsibility to move their children forward. To do so, they must guide and stimulate them. At work, managers face the same reality. They must inspire and motivate their employees. And as at home, many of their decisions will be discussed, criticized, and challenged.

In both cases, however, there is an obligation of result. Beyond wanting the satisfaction of the people for whom they are responsible, the parent and manager must fulfill their role and achieve their goals. This feeling of always being between the tree and the bark is sometimes uncomfortable for me. So, I often question myself.

Personally, I would say that it takes courage to become a manager. And just as is the case with a parent, a manager must also have a good dose of humility in store.

There were many nods. Approving eyes met.

Mathieu then spoke. He was the youngest of the group. Due to his intelligence, he had skipped a few years of primary and secondary school. From the very beginning of his career, he was able to display his leadership qualities. After successfully leading two projects involving teams, he was entrusted with a managerial position.

- I was appointed a manager after two successful mandates. Subsequently, I felt that I deserved a leadership position. Not only for the prestige associated with the title, but also because I wanted to take on increasingly greater responsibilities.

I saw myself returning home earlier in the day. I pictured myself going on motorcycle rides more often with my love. I believed I could more easily take longer vacations. In short, enjoying life to the fullest.

However, I must admit that the reality is very different from what I had imagined.

Indeed, I quickly realized that the prestige of my position was often limited to the title on my business card. Because of my new responsibilities, I feel that my work follows me like my shadow.

Even if I am not directly solicited by others, my head remains connected to work. I think about it all the time. Even at night.

Understanding smiles appeared on the faces. Mathieu continued:

- Every day, I live with the pressure exerted on me by my superiors, through the goals to be achieved, the deadlines to be respected, the analyses to be made, the decisions to be made, employees to be motivated and supervised... and all this despite the impressive number of unforeseen events that occur all day long!

Don’t misunderstand me. I love my job. I love being in the heat of the moment. I love the pressure. And I’m up for overtime. However, I didn’t think I had to keep this rhythm all the time. In fact, I would have liked to be told that being a manager is very intense. I admit that I still can't quite balance work with my personal life.

Melissa then took the floor. Having worked in the family business for several years, she was considered the successor of her father, who was already in the pre-retirement phase.

The fact that she was born into the business world had probably prepared her for several realities. For example, she knew she had to carve out her own space as Melissa, not just as “the boss's daughter.” She also knew she would become the boss of people older than her.

But if there was one thing she would have liked to hear earlier, it was that she didn’t have to know everything, right away.

- I didn't tell anyone about it at first. But I suffered from what is called impostor syndrome. Because often, I had no clue how to answer certain questions. It was causing me anxiety.

In fact, it still happens to me today. But I now understand that it is impossible to always know everything. Whereas I used to see a pyramid with the manager sitting at the very top, I now see it as more of a circle bringing together a team of experts, each in their specialty.

Today, I am more comfortable working as a team and asking questions. It is also easier for me to delegate.

The image of the pyramid and the circle garnered unanimous agreement from everyone. We all acknowledged its relevance.

Finally, it was Alexandre's turn. Among the five musketeers, he was not only the most experienced manager but also the most Zen. It was said of him that he had an old soul. Additionally, everyone recognized his tremendous talent for simplifying complex concepts.

He began his comment by saying he recognized himself in everyone’s comments.

- I feel that everything that has been said fits me too. I even find it reassuring that our experiences are so similar.

He then told us that he had recently attended a seminar on mentoring new managers. The theme was: "The best advice to give to the beginner manager."

- Here are the findings of this seminar. According to the majority of experienced managers, here are the top four tips:

Learn about the history of the company you work for.

• You must have a thorough understanding of its mission and vision. You should know the problem it solves for its customers, its purpose, and its function. Because all actions of the department you lead must align perfectly with its raison d'être.

Understand the importance of the role you occupy within this company.

• You hold a key position. Just as each note in a musical piece is essential for its harmony, your position is vital for the accomplishment of the company's mission and vision. Ensure that members of your team understand how important they are within the company's structure.

Insist on clarity in everything you do.

• Only accept clear mandates. Only assign clear tasks. Be sure to clearly communicate goals and strategies. Set clear priorities. Make sure there is a clear understanding of all your requests. Everything must always be perfectly clear.

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.

• Communication is the element that will help you the most in your role as manager. Lack of communication is the element that will harm you the most. Information must always flow. Freely. Answers to questions must be conveyed. From top to bottom and from bottom to top. Too many managers do not communicate changes. Working in silos hinders collaboration between teams and departments.

• For employees to be interested and involved in achieving your management goals, you must also listen to them and understand their challenges. Being open to their difficulties also means being open to their comments and suggestions for improvement.

• If you sow sincere and honest communication, you will reap the same in return. You must never forget that you lead human beings and are sensitive to every decision or action you make. Regularly recognize everyone’s successes. Thus, eventually, employees will understand that it is first with positive results that they will attract your attention the most.

• In summary, the time taken to communicate with your team members will come to you a hundred times more in mutual understanding, collaboration, and problem-solving. Clear and regular communication always creates an environment conducive to aligning objectives, coordinating efforts, and achieving concrete results.

In conclusion, we noted that these pieces of advice primarily address the human aspect of the manager's grand journey. This could also mean that a manager could never be replaced by technology.

Yes, it is challenging to manage human beings. However, we all ultimately recognize that it is precisely this human aspect that allows us to derive so much satisfaction from our role as manager.

The meeting of the five musketeers of this year will have once again highlighted the beauty of these five wonderful humans who lead other human beings.

As they advance in life, they all go from the fear of the monster hidden under the bed, to the joy of a team that progresses and succeeds.